sometimes i wake up, having dreams about my pa, and never know if they're real or not, do you know what i mean? and i'm usually at one of two extremes, unbelievably hot, or deathly cold. it scares me a bit, well a lot actually, because i feel like i was so close to kissing him and having him back, and then i realise and then i feel so far away from him. more than ever. imagine if for one day i could have him back, i don't actually know what i'd do, because i feel like i barely know him anymore. i always think i'd question him on things to me that i need to be answered, but in my head i know if it did happen i'd probably just sit and stare at him, inable to believe he's there, cracking my bones or biting my nails, like i do when i'm nervous.
who knows
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